“When your values are clear to you, making decisions becomes easier.”
Roy E. Disney
Start with your values
It can be overwhelming to know how to start designing your life when you have one or more areas you want to change. The first thing to do is take a deep breath and know you’re in good company. Every single person on this planet goes through change, transition, and uncertainty multiple times in their life.
I find it can be helpful to begin with your values. Every single person has a set of values. When I was in a partial program, my therapist told me that our values are like our favorite flavor of ice cream: we’re all allowed to just like what we like!
You can download and print off a values worksheet I created here.
Here’s what you’re going to do:
- Look at each value and quickly decide (in <5 seconds) if that value is very important (V), somewhat important (S), or not as important (N) to you. Write down the letter V, S, or N depending on what you decide. DON’T OVERTHINK THIS.
- At the end of the list, fill in the two blank spaces with two values of your own that are not already listed.
- Next, on page three you’re going to rewrite all the values you decided were very important (V). It can helpful to circle all the V’s first and then write the values down.
- Of these very important values, you are going to pick the top 3 values you want to focus on right now. I like to cross them out one at a time until I’m left with my top three. This is going to change over time, so don’t stress about picking the wrong ones.
Now that you have your top three values, you can begin to look at how your life matches up with those values. Are your day-to-day actions aligned with those values? If not, then it’s time to make some changes.
Let your values be your guide
Our values act like a compass to point us in the direction we want to go. We can begin to take small steps with our actions to align with our values. This will help us make the changes we are trying to make.
Again, this process is very personal and subjective. There is no one right or wrong way to do this. Your values are going to be different from my values, which are going to be different from Kim Kardashian’s values.
No one’s values are better or worse than anyone else’s. Don’t stress about doing this wrong or agonizing over which values are best. Just go with your gut.
In my next article, I will walk you through how you can use the values you’ve picked to take stock of where you are right now. If you’re like me, you’re going to see a pretty big gap between where you want to be and where you are now.
That is absolutely fine! It’s expected! During times of transition, when we are wanting to make changes, there is always a gap between where we are and where we want to go.
If you’re hungry for more and want a birds eye view of this process, you may want to read an article I wrote earlier called 53 Simple Ideas For Designing Your Life. But don’t let it overwhelm you! We’ll go through specifics in later articles.
My current top three values are so different from the last time I did this exercise! This time I chose adventure, courage, and whimsy. Comment below with your top three values.
