man leaping between boulders with a weight tied to his leg

I set out on a goal to journal publicly for 100 days (not necessarily consecutively), and yet I’ve disappeared for a few weeks. That’s how life goes sometimes. We make plans, things change, and then we adjust.

I’m back to it after a hiatus. I’ve been busy putting my heart and soul into my endeavors with the launch of The Abi Normal Society. It feels good to have clarity for what feels like the first time in many months. 

Like many other people, I get overwhelmed by the amount of chaos and suffering in the world. Reading the news often takes me into a dark place, and sometimes it’s hard to not want to stay in bed forever. 

But I have an opportunity to help other people build resilience in their lives. To help people learn to love themselves more profoundly and bounce back from hardships. I believe having more resilient people will lead to more solutions to our world’s problems. 

So I’m pushing myself to get these ideas and resources out there, because it feels like the one thing I can do to help. My self-doubt often rears its ugly head, yelling things like, “Who do you think you are to do this stuff? No one will listen to you! You want to be paid for this? Ha!”

But I keep going despite the onslaught of criticisms in my mind. Because this stuff matters, and I know I can use the knowledge and skills I’ve gained over the last 29 years of my life to help other people in big ways. I can do this, despite being my own biggest obstacle.

I have to laugh because I’ve been saying for YEARS that we are often our own biggest obstacle in life. It doesn’t really matter what obstacles other people put in your way. The biggest obstacles come from you believing you can’t overcome them and putting up your own barriers in the process.

Getting out of your own way can be one of the hardest things in life. Maybe it is the number one hardest thing in life! You are the gatekeeper for your behavior, your intentions, your thoughts, your actions. 

We have more power than we can possibly understand, and yet we are the biggest restraint of that power. I know from experience that practicing self-compassion and reframing our narratives helps us to loosen that restraint. But I have yet to figure out how to really get out of my own way.

It’s a lifelong journey. To learn and love and grow and explore. Some of us strive for enlightenment. Others strive to own their home and retire someday. 

I don’t have all the answers, and the truth is that none of us will ever have all the answers. And that’s ok. The unknown is part of what makes life fun and exciting.

If we can learn to embrace the discomfort that comes with facing the unknown, we can ease into the journey and enjoy the ride. They call this surrendering. I’m definitely still working on it, but I can say without a doubt that I’m better at surrendering to life’s crazy plan now than I was even two years ago.

Cheers to self-love and resilience. May it change our world for the better.

Dr. Jess has been finding herself on one adventure after the next since quitting residency in September of 2021. She currently lives in the Pacific Northwest with her 3-year-old rescue dog, Lola. Dr. Jess blogs about her experiences, advice for times of transition, and whatever else tickles her fancy.

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